we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize
