Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
