In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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