u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i permit you to call me
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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