Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
