How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
