you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
