I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
