just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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