My liver just broke up with me...
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You are a booty call, not a friend.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
