Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
