Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
