Betty ford says i'm here all night
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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