There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize