U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
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Do I have a choice?
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How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
