if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize