i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
