she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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