just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
A+ Viking dick
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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