Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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