officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
When did angry sex become our thing?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
