Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
