I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
In other news, I just burned my penis
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
