Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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