How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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