Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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