You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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