so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize