I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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