Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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