You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
