I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
