Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
