break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
