Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
