I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
