I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
