we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
