i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
