3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
