GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize