So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
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