Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
