I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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