well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
