some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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