how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
It's just like the Real World with babies
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
