Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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