Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
