I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
