I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
