i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
