...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
