My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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