My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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