Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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