every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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