Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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