Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
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