dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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