Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
