So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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