I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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