Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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