i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I am available for nakedness
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
