i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
